[L]ast month, I shared a post of how we don’t do Santa in our house. Today I want to reflect on another post I wrote in 2009 explaining how we do “The Truth Fairy.” Enjoy!
How We Celebrate the Truth Fairy
Last night my 10-year-old daughter, Caitlyn, came home barreling through the front door overly excited to show me that she had lost a molar tooth. I barely got the words out, “How was your weekend with your mom?” when I was quickly holding and admiring my daughter’s greatest loss. “You owe me big time! This one fell out by itself when I was eating a burger for lunch yesterday at mom’s.” Being somewhat pleased myself that this tooth would cost me less in Truth Fairy fees vs. being pulled at the dentist, I nodded and handed back the tooth as she tore down the hallway to retrieve the special “tooth box” from her bathroom cupboard.
She hummed, started her homework at the kitchen table as I returned to my office to continuing working myself. Shower, PJs, and teeth brushing later, I was kneeling by her bed to pray. Afterward I got the following lecture: “Ok dad, I made it easier. The tooth box is here on the shelf by the clock. It’s definitely worth at least a $20 since it fell out by itself. You can do the exchange without having to mess with my pillow before you go to bed. Don’t forget now. Ok dad? I really love you.”
[tweet “We don’t lie to our kids about the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, or Santa Claus.”]
This is how our family celebrates the “Truth Fairy.” Now what you are about to read may ruffle some feathers and generate some interesting comments, but we don’t lie to our kids about the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, or Santa Claus. We keep the traditions but layout the truth from the beginning. Why?
The Why Behind the Truth Fairy
1. What purpose is served by lying to your kids… seriously?
2. How can you in one breath tell your kids the truth about Jesus and yet lie to them about an imaginary Tooth Fairy or Santa Claus?
3. Why would you give focus and excitement to an imaginary thing when you are the hard-working loving parents who bring gifts/money to your kids?
4. How can you foster truth and integrity with your kids and yet lie to them about other things?
Now before all the hate mail comes, we still celebrate ALL of these such traditions throughout the year. However, we give credit where credit is due and maintain the secret for others. i.e. We teach our kids not to spoil any “beliefs” for other children. Our kids love and anticipate our traditions just as much as anyone’s and have loads of fun. One of the side benefits to this approach is it allows us the flexibility to move “celebrations” to different days something needed if you’re a blended family!
How do you celebrate the tooth fairy? How do you feel about this truth fairy approach?
Paid featured image from www.DollarPhotoClub.com, tooth fairy box from Caitlyn’s bedroom.
fred,
your role in your daughter’s life is amazing. i really appreciate you putting yourself out there. i would give anything to be the full custody parent of my little girl. i have to ask, if the tooth fell out at your ex’s house, why did your daughter bring the tooth back to your house? did you ask your daughter to do that?
Billy,
Wow, you caught that didn’t you? No I absolutely did not ask Caitlyn to do that, nor did I expect it. In fact, on that particular issue, I never have not nor will I ever question Caitlyn about it. It’s in the past and nothing productive will come of a detailed discussion. In short, you cannot parent to the other side, and you cannot make your Ex do the right thing.
For some of us, the high road is very hard. If you want a glimpse of the quality of parenting I’m dealing with, in regards to my Ex consider this true story seven years ago…
Extreme Custodial parenting Accommodations, Would You Do This?.
FYI, I am not sure I would do this today. But that’s another story.