[Y]our divorce left you mentally and emotionally battered, poorer, even humiliated. But the months (years?) of fighting doesn’t stop with ending the relationship with your now-Ex.

You’re still facing a child custody case.

And get ready for more humiliation. She will likely extend her vitriol by painting you as a bad parent, maybe even more vociferously than she did as a spouse. You will want to lash out, and via your attorney, you will. But proceed carefully and recognize that more humiliation is coming your way, only this time, as you are about to see, it will be self-inflicted. However, if you work with closely with your attorney, this unpleasantness will likely although eventually, work in your favor.

Choose the Right Attorney

While this may seem an elementary tip, it goes deeper. To win custody, strongly consider hiring a female attorney. “I know there are probably many good male attorneys practicing family law,” reports a dad on www.deltabravo.net, “but the ones I talked to were not in this group. I discovered during my attorney selection process that female family attorneys were much more skilled making a case for me to have custody.” I tend to agree if given the choice.

Keeping Complete Records and Documentation

The ‘Bravo-dad’ reported that while he didn’t originally have a detailed journal of activities/expenditures of everything related to his son, he did have a disorganized paper trail that chronicled expenditures, activities, travel to spend time with his son, even mundane expenses such as school supplies and haircuts—the latter of which were the mother’s responsibility. When he organized it and presented in court, her attorney attempted to dismiss his numbers as, “copious notes.”

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Petitioning for Custodial/Parental Evaluations

While this cost the dad more than $2,000 on a character assessment he initially wanted no part of. However, the money he spent getting evaluated by a psychologist, who gave the patient a ‘nod of approval,’ put his attorney at great ease before the trial. According to the attorney, the courts typically agree with 90% of the time with the decision of the evaluators with regard to physical placement of children. (I did this is as well, and it paid off in spades.)

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Next time we’ll discuss: Interact with your Child’s Life.

What do you think is key to gaining custody?

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