Swallowing Pride May Prove a Key Element in Gaining Custody (3/3)

written by Fred Campos

[T]his is part three of three factors for fathers gaining custody of their children. Part one included: Choosing the right attorney, keeping records and documentation, and proper positioning for parental evaluations. Part two dealt with: Talking with your children’s neighbors, staying involved in your child’s activities, and compiling a photo album for an exhibit. The final part of the series:

Getting the Right Judge Assigned to your Case

The attorney for the dad seeking custody in our source, www.DeltaBravo.net, said the right judge was important for their case. The lawyer said the more often than not, judges make decisions using their own common sense and discretion, and then look to the law to back up their decision. Without knowing the process, which probably varies from state to state, getting the right judge is probably a combination of the right timing and good luck. Just like I recommend for finding a good attorney, go sit in court and listen to your judge ahead of time.

Never Losing Your Temper

The courts do not want to report to a judge that you lost your temper in a court, especially in front of your family, even if you were a victim in the particular situation. In the 1992 movie, “A Few Good Men” Jack Nicholson’s character totally and completely loses his case based on losing his temper. It not only happens in movies, it happens frequently in real life!

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Running Your Custody Action without a Budget

This process will certainly cost more than you anticipated. However, if you really want to raise your children, you will spend the money on the depositions, parental evaluations, and other investigative work. Your adult children will thank you.

Video and Audio Evidence

The Dad in our example recorded a conversation with his Ex and new husband to illustrate the verbal abuse they were subjecting him to. However, even he admitted the judge wasn’t totally pleased with the tactic of ‘anonymous recording.’ If you resort to this strategy, make sure you know that your state allows it (some don’t), and talk to your attorney before proceeding with this idea. If it’s all legal, you will want to transcribe them to a hard copy, as few courts will take the time to listen to an original recording. While judges are not keen on this practice I have found this is great evidence to present to case and social workers involved in your case.

What do you think is key to gaining custody?

Paid feature Image from Adobe Stock photos.



  1. Malcolm Abbott

    The laws related to child custody could be different in each state in America. So, when involved in a legal battle to gain child custody, it is important to have a deep understanding of the law. It’s best to consult a lawyer, since it would also need you to go through earlier judgements in similar cases. Maintain proper records and build your case to increase the chances of the verdict going in your favor. Don’t forget that your child / childrenmay be going through a tough emotional phase during the legal process of custody. So, don’t forget to shower your affection.

  2. Larry Griffith

    Judge said, boy does not need a dad, he needs child support and spousal support only.
    Took him to church youth group every Wed eve. Mom went to court, cause he got home late and all wound up. Too much fun. She promptly enrolled him in Karate Classes and they got home same hour. No matter what I lost. Finally new judge, declared Parental Alienation. Despite all, they got to move away. Court appointed attorney and psychologist for the boy stated, “He is a ticking time bomb.” When disappointment happens, he will most likely explode. Some Judges and DCS personnel are totally dedicated to elimination of Dads. Over the past years I have taken many single parent kids on outings. They have an unbalanced perceptive on life. Its a great pity.

    • FullCustodyDad


      I feel your pain, don’t give up the fight. When I encountered the same kind of push back, I paid the fee and asked for a jury trial. 12 of your peers can sometimes be more objective than a judge. I got full custody that way.


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