[I]t’s that special time of the year when I feel loved. My voicemail and my snail mail boxes swell with heart felt messages. No I am not talking about the holiday season…yet. It is time to vote! Yes it is that fabulous time when you know your house phone works because all you get is very nice “robo calls.” These happy, informative, joyous, interrupters encourage you to vote for this, or make sure you proposition that.
It’s a wonderful to be a good voting citizen. I should know, I’m running for school board this May.
But alas, I have come to a new conclusion on why you should vote in every single election… You probably save postal jobs! No I am serious.
Vote to Save a Postal Job!
With the onset of eMail, texting, Facebook, Skype, smart phones, dumb phones, and tweeting–I was deeply concerned mail would go the way of smoke signals, telegrams, or even gasp, “THE FAX.” Don’t you miss those personal faxes? As a good citizen, I have had many a sleepless night struggling, plus/deltaing the decreasing postal problem. “Doesn’t society understand that those personal texts and selfies are hurting the note mailing campaigns of Hallmark or even the big guy up north… Santa?” Without letters in our mailbox, we could gain weight by not taking those extra 20 steps. We could miss our 10 seconds of sunshine, miss that once a quarter wave at a neighbor, or even worse we could go… go.. postal.
Don’t Panic, Voting Saves Postal Jobs
But leave it to the political animal to solve a governmental problem they didn’t even know existed. Thank God for political mailers!
Yes folks, that’s right, we have a solution. After conducting a scientific survey of at least my mailbox, I am happy to report that I receive roughly 20 tons of political flyers on a regular bases. Those well thought out, informative ads averages out to five pieces of mail a day. “Wow, who knew, political mailers ARE the answer to the decreasing postal job conundrum.”
[tweet “Wow, who knew, political mailers ARE the answer to the decreasing postal job conundrum.”]
But Wait, There’s More
I figure it also saves the advertisers, marketers, trash and recycling jobs too. It’s free enterprise at its finest. It’s a tax on the politicians, it’s political money used to save jobs. If you become a regular voter, your mail trash is another man’s treasure…or ummm, I mean it creates jobs.
You will be added to lists, and lists, and lists. Those lists are bought, sold, used and distributed daily to all existing and future political candidates. Those candidates pour money into our economy employing mailers, stuffers, lickers, stampers and yes, I dare say it… yes, the postal service.
So put down that pen. Stop writing postcard and notes to your family and friends. Go ahead and Facebook a message you would normal mail. Don’t worry any more about the fate of the post office and it’s workers. Your only job is to encourage everyone to register to vote. The process will do the rest, and you’ll save jobs. Jobs make people happy. And happy people keep a society from going… postal.
What are your thoughts on “political mailers”?
Paid image from www.DollarPhotoClub.com, the other is really my mail…ugh!