Is Intimacy Missing in Your Marriage?

written by Fred Campos

[I]ntimacy is a big deal. And no, we’re not just talking about sex. Of course, we all know that sex is a healthy part of any relationship. But you can still have sex and lack intimacy in your marriage.

By definition, intimacy relates to closeness, togetherness, and a sense of familiarity. In marriage, this is something that you should see as one of the main pillars keeping you bonded and strong. Trust, honesty, respect, and love all matter – and they always will. But a lack of intimacy in your marriage can be a destructive thing. Many marriages break down due to a lack of intimacy – or it slowly disappearing over time. Just like you need to have healthy communication with your spouse to enjoy a fruitful marriage, intimacy can help.

You can be married to your significant other and respect them, love them, and communicate well with them, but when you lack intimacy the cracks will show. Whether this is in the first few months or twenty years down the line. When you share values, you care about each other, and you genuinely want to spend your lives together, it would be a shame to let your marriage unfold because you lost your intimacy or never quite found it, wouldn’t it?

There are so many reasons for why a marriage may not work out, particularly if you have issues that you just cannot resolve, but a lack of intimacy can be cured. So let’s take a look at how.

Intimacy Missing – Spend Time Together

First up, you’re going to want to actually spend time together. Yes, it’s great to be independent, because having too much dependency on each other can be destructive in any marriage. But at the same time, too much independence can cause you to push each other away. So think about the things you can do to spend more time together, things that you enjoy. This will be a good first step towards making your bond stronger.

Be Physically Close

Next, you’re going to want to actually get close. Because you can spend a lot of time together and still not really be intimate. This can also affect your marriage in a negative way. Physical intimacy includes things such as holding hands, cuddling up, sitting next to each other and physically touching. If you struggle to actually be near to each other, then it’s going to be tough to move through the rest of this list. So starting out by sitting together more can help.

Intimacy Missing – Avoid Too Much Monotony

Something to stop doing will be to avoid too much routine that tends to make life seem monotonous. Of course, you’ll need to do things like cook, clean, go to work, pay bills, and so on, but you can still shake things up by getting out of a routine that is killing the relationship that you have together. Life is too short to get stuck in a life that you’re unhappy in, so spice it up and make room for a closer bond at the same time.

Is Intimacy Missing?
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Make Time For Date Night

Do you date? If not, then this is the next thing to change. Because if you find yourself stuck in a rut, it’s going to destroy your chances of creating intimacy. Making time for a weekly date night is going to really help you. Getting dressed up and going out with each together is a great way to strengthen your intimacy. It’s fun, it brings you close, and it let’s each other know that you prioritize your time together.

Get Intimate

From here, you’re also going to want to make sure that you are getting intimate with each other in a sexual intercourse sense. Not every relationship will prioritize this, and of course, you have to find a rhythm that you’re comfortable with, but it is central to a healthy relationship. You won’t always want to find out more about how infidelity can affect you if this can be avoided. Creating a healthy sexual relationship that you’re both happy with is the best way to do that.

Intimacy Missing – Touch

We briefly touched on getting physically close earlier on, but you’re also going to want to bring touch into that. Holding hands, touching skin to skin when you’re sat together, and even kissing is going to help to bring more intimacy into your marriage, so make sure that you’re proactive with touch.

Do Things That You Enjoy

At the same time, you have to be able to do things that you enjoy. You can’t always compromise who you are and what you want for a relationship. It’s unhealthy. But, you can find a middle ground and something that you enjoy doing together that will aid the intimacy in your relationship.

Intimacy in Marriage
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Intimacy Missing – Avoid The Tough Stuff

There’s nothing quite like an argument to kill any intimacy that you’re building up. Although arguments are a natural part of a relationship, you will want to work on them. Stop fighting and learn to deal with disagreements in a better way if you want to build your intimacy and strengthen your marriage.


Do you remember how much fun flirting used to be? When you flirt with someone, it’s exciting and intimate. And yes, this is something that you can totally do with your other half. These flirt with your husband tips are great, and you can do the same with your wife. By showing interest, complimenting, and just bringing your body language in line with intimacy, you’ll be doing a lot to let your spouse know that you want to strengthen what you have together.

Be Each Other’s Best Friends

As you can see, intimacy is much more than sex. You can have a great sex life and still have poor intimacy. It’s the connectivity and bond that you build together than can help keep your marriage strong. In a way, you have to be each other’s best friends. That closeness that you feel together is incredible. It’s a bond that is hard to shake and will keep your marriage strong through the good times and bad. But you have to work on it!

What suggestions would you give to keep intimacy alive?

Contributed post. Feature image via Pexels.



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