How to Win a Divorce – Dos, Don’ts, and Sneaky Tactics

written by Fred Campos

When it comes to ending the marriage, most spouses wonder how to win a divorce. Many assets have been accumulated, as much as many offenses have been taken. Clearly, neither spouse wants to give in anything to the other party.

There are many ways to score off in divorce, some of them can work better than others. Some tactics may seem like a good idea but it’s better to avoid them at any cost. Here’s our list of top mean divorce tactics divorcees often use but lose and a few tips on how to win a divorce.

Sneaky Divorce Tactics

When you’re hurt, stabbing your Ex-partner in the back may seem right and wise. Unfortunately, acting mean can only anger your spouse and weaken your divorce situation. No matter how furious and disappointed you are, make sure you NEVER use these 5 tactics.

Hiding Kids

After so many times your partner hurt you, it’s understandable that you want to revenge. And what can be more painful than denying a parent seeing their children? You can say that they’re visiting their granny till, well, forever. Or they’re spending time in an art camp, the address of which you don’t remember. Or you just escape and take your kids with you.

No, no, and no. In doing so, you’re only shattering your own position in the divorce. Your spouse may accuse you of being an untrustworthy parent – and they would be right! Besides, your kids may take separation from a loving parent painfully.

Using Financial Leverage

If you’re the only income earner in the family, it’s easy to leave your spouse with nothing and make them agree to all the divorce terms you say. Canceling credit cards and cleaning out joint bank accounts is quite common among the divorcing revenge-takers. Unfortunately, besides social stigmatization, legal punishment may follow.

Involve Other People

When you’re going through a divorce, having a strong support group is good both for your emotional state and your willingness to fight for better divorce terms. It’s wrong, however, to gather a so-called “attack group”.

It may feel good to wash your dirty linen among your friends and family, reveal your spouse’s dirty secrets among their colleagues and business partners, as much as to inform a spouse of your partner’s lover of their affair. But the satisfaction won’t last long. Soon, it will be changed by a deep regret and your spouse’s eagerness to hit you twice as hard.

Hinder Any Attempts to Come to an Agreement

How to win everything in a divorce? Some think: by driving back any attempt of their ex-spouses to come to an agreement. It’s all or nothing, right? Unfortunately, this is the tactic where everybody loses. Such attitude can only bring you skyrocketing attorney fees, let alone that you will simply waste your time.

Inventing Stories About Abuse

When it comes to punishing your partner for all the pain they’ve caused you, any means are justified. Even if it takes you to make your spouse a criminal and abuser in the court. Stories about abusing partners or parents aren’t that rare during a divorce.

If abuse does happen in the family, you shouldn’t wait to use it as leverage in the court but take measures immediately. Call the domestic abuse hotline, go to the police, get a restriction order, and get out of the house right away. However, if it’s just an act to set your spouse up, it’s a sure way to losing divorce or even stand trial for libel.

How to Win a Divorce – Divorce Tactics to Win

If you’re going to win a divorce – without getting into jail – use these tried-and-true tactics.

Staying in the Marital Home

If you aim to stay in your marital home after a divorce, being the spouse who leaves isn’t the best decision. A judge may consider it a free will to give in the property to the other spouse.

Therefore, put every effort to stay even if your partner refuses to leave. Living together during a divorce may become quite a challenge. But it’s worth the effort if this place really means something to you.

Securing Your Property and Money

People can do silly things during a divorce. Even if you play fairly, you can’t be sure that your spouse does. Make a checklist of what you have before things start to heat up. Keep count of your earnings, expenditures, and debts. It will also be wise to ask a judge to issue a temporary restriction order so that your partner didn’t clear out your marital bank accounts.

Being Careful with What You Say

Everything you say may and will be used against you in the court. Especially, by an Ex-partner whose heart you might have broken.

Once you step on the path of divorce, you must start carefully tracking what gets out of your mouth. It includes social media posts, conversations with friends and family, as well as anything you say to your ex-to-be. Let your secrets be secrets until it’s over. And don’t give your spouse’s lawyer a chance to misinterpret your words.

How to Win a Divorce – Keeping Your Head Cool

From completing divorce papers to negotiating favorable conditions, emotions can become an obstacle on your way to winning a divorce. If your partner can throw you out of your stride, he controls you and the outcome of the divorce.

A cool head is a half of success in getting what you want from the divorce. No matter how hard it may be, make sure you stay calm and reasonable during negotiations and hearings. It will help you see the full picture and can even undermine your spouse’s confidence.

Hiring Winning Divorce Assistants

Finally, make sure your divorce team is qualified and ready to fight for you. A good divorce outcome may largely depend on the skills of the hired attorney.

Alternatively, you can try mediation or divorce counseling. If your expert is seasoned enough, you may even solve it out of court.

What advice would you add?

Feature image via Unsplash.



  1. john smith

    Hello im 32M and my soon to be ex wife is without a doubt a narcissist and I had no idea what i was dealing with until i discovered her affair and started doing some research close to 100 hours of study later you don’t have to be a psychiatrist to recognize patterns and signs off a check list… but i digress I know its very difficult to prove emotional and psychological abuse but I do have a clinical depression diagnosis from a Dr from the VA 12 years army retired 4 tours of duty and anxiety to be honest I’m still embarrassed and ashamed to even admit my wife 130lb wife was able to manipulate me so easily and for so long a decade I guess I just chalked up all the silent treatments and withholding as “normal” but it WAS NOT 100% I have been shot at blown up and this is the most insidious crap I have ever endured but I worry for my two boys 9 and 7 I mean Shes only been out the marital home 3 weeks and she’s already making the kids keep secrets shes trying to alienate them from me and I know how bad it can get and I hate to think my two kids going through that without me being the meat shield do you have any recommendations on how to present that to the court I have text some video i didnt start recording until she was almost out the door sadly but any information is appreciated thank you


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