As an avid book reader, I am always looking for good custody books to help fathers. That said, now that my daughter is in her teenage years, I am gravitating more towards parenting books for dads. *hehe* This past May, I came across an excellent short read I would love to get into the hands of any father—be it married, divorced or re-married. Dennis Rainey’s “Interviewing Your Daughter’s Date: 30 Minutes Man-to-Man” is a fantastic idea of actually having a 30 minute conversation/interview with a boy that is starting to show interest in your daughter before they even go out on their first date.
Now this paradigm may sound radical, but consider the 2011 CDC reports that nearly half of all high school students reported to have had sex. One in three claimed to have sex during the last three months and half of the 19 million new cases of STD are among these same young people. Consequently the 2009 numbers still show there are more than 400,000 new teen mothers each year. These numbers are frightening and should be alarming to any parent.
So Dads, what do we do about it? Sit back and wait for our girls to become a statistic? I agree with Dennis Rainey, that “Protecting your daughter is worth whatever cost or embarrassment or awkwardness it brings.” This concept goes beyond talking to our daughters about sex (a conversation we’ll have in a different blog post), but sets some ground work on what you expect in her dating relationship to look like. It involves taking matters to the next level and actually having a 30 minute interview with someone who wants to take your daughter out.
Dads, if you are at a loss of what that interview or conversation topics should sound like, Rainey gives you a basic outline. In short, the interview should start by addressing his: 1) family, 2) work habits, 3) life plans, 4) Christian testimony, and 5) driving record. Then it should end with an expectation and lines regarding what he is not to do with your daughter—including “challenging him to guard her innocence, not just her virginity.” This is serious business and not quite the humor I posted four years ago in “10 Tips for Dating My Daughter.”
To quote Rainey one more time dads… “We know instinctively that defending our daughters, protecting them from danger, and staying in the boat with them through the choppy waters of adolescence, is one of the reasons for our existence.” I could not agree more. Take the high road, stay involved in your daughter’s lives and consider reading… “Interviewing Your Daughter’s Date.”
What measures are you putting in place to protect your daughters? How do you feel about interviewing your daughter’s date? What questions should be on the interview list?
Fred Campos is father to three and primary custodian to his daughter Caitlyn from a previous relationship.
I have a website about trying to give you some tips when going through family court that I have found out about after 10 years myself check it out http://igniterscave.com
Toby, I can so relate, been in the system myself now for 15 years. Hang in there and good start on your site.
Good job Technology Man, glad to know you are reading great stuff for our daughter. Keep up the good work.