Moving on: Healthy Relationships After Divorce

A divorce is one of the most stressful things that a person can experience. The whole process of a divorce is fraught with emotion and obstacles that need to be overcome. Being stuck in an unhappy marriage, coupled with the aftermath of separation, is incredibly stressful. Dealing with all the wrangling over possessions, and most importantly, who gets custody of the kids can really take their toll on both your physical and mental health.

For many people, going through an acrimonious separation and divorce is enough to make them swear never to get involved in a romantic relationship ever again. Of course, at some point, there usually is a time when you do meet someone special, and you do begin to get romantically involved with them. Before you embark on a serious relationship, it is useful to make sure that you are ready to be involved with someone all over again. Here are some things to consider:

Relationships After Divorce – Too Much, Too Soon

After spending so much time thinking that you would never fall in love again, it can be tempting to jump in feet first when you do find someone special. Some people find themselves in another relationship soon after their divorce. Rebound relationships are rarely a good idea and can leave you feeling in an even worse place emotionally if they don’t work out. It is essential to tread carefully and trust your instincts when embarking on a new relationship. Many people feel that some time without being in a relationship gives them the opportunity to recover emotionally, and to enjoy the feeling of closure that the divorce brings while healing at their own pace. If you do meet someone new, try to take things slowly and don’t be tempted to rush things when you do start dating again. Moving things along at a slower pace will allow you to stay in step with your emotions and retain your judgment without being blinded by love. Of course, this doesn’t mean that you need to close yourself off emotionally completely, merely that you need to be mindful, and go into a new relationship with your eyes wide open.

Take Care of the Kids

Divorce has an extreme impact on your life, and for kids, divorce can be a profoundly unsettling confusing time. Trying to take care of your own emotional health, and ensuring that your kids are cared for can be a significant challenge during this difficult time.  For kids, the idea of their parent getting together with someone new, that isn’t their Mom or Dad, can be incredibly confusing. Sometimes kids have a really tough time getting used to their Mom or Dad having a new partner around, and this can provoke some strong emotions. Kids can feel particularly resentful of a new partner if they have grown used to having your full attention, and they may also become upset and see your new relationship as a rejection. Being mindful of your children’s emotions when you start a new relationship is crucial. It is essential that they don’t feel sidelined, and that you still spend plenty of time together without your new partner being present.

Relationships After Divorce – Keep Communicating

When your new relationship starts to get serious, you may decide to remarry. After a previous bad experience of being in a marriage, you may feel wary that things won’t work out. It is vital to remember that this is a whole new relationship under entirely different circumstances. Talking through how you are feeling with your new partner will help to keep the lines of communication open to make your relationship work. When problems do arise, you will be able to use your past experience to spot them and work them out. Getting some extra help such as using marriage counseling can help your relationship through the tough times, and help your relationship grow stronger than ever before. Communication is vital in all relationships, but to make a marriage or long term partnership work, open communication is a must. Talking through issues before they become a major problem will prevent them from harming your relationship.

Stay True to Yourself

One important thing that many people learn after a marriage has broken down is the importance of staying true to themselves. Compromising yourself for the sake of a relationship is never a good idea, and can put your relationship under strain. With the benefit of your past experience, you will be able to set your boundaries and only choose relationships that enrich your life.

Contributed post. Feature image via Pixabay CC0 License.