DGC 012 – 07/10/2018 What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger

written by Fred Campos
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What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger

[F]red Campos, @FullCustodyDad, discusses taking the experience of fighting for custody and allowing it to change your life for good. Really focus on becoming he better parent for your kids and learning to get along with your Ex.

It’s Never Over, but Does Get Better with Time

  • Remember Top 3 Stresses Adults Face: Death of a Spouse, Divorce, & Marital Separation
  • Time Heals All Wounds
  • What You Do with Your Time, that Heals Wounds
  • Don’t Dwell, Move On

Getting Along with Your Ex After Court

  1. Stop Bringing Up the Past
  2. Pick Your Battles
  3. Stand Up for Yourself
  4. Forgive Your Ex and Yourself
  5. Maintain a Healthy Sense of Understand and Compassion
  6. Avoid Becoming Immediately Defensive
  7. Maintain a Healthy Distance
  8. Let Go of Jealousy
  9. Remember It’s About the Kids

The High Road of the Custodial Parent is Selflessness

  • Since You Have More Time, You’ll Have to Give In More
  • Kids Activities are NOT Going to Follow the Schedule
  • Life is Messy and Unstructured
  • Someday Your Kids Will Remember Your Actions

The Reality of Re-Filing and Getting Custody Later

  • Unless Your Ex Doesn’t Want to Fight, It’s Not Worth the Effort
  • Most Custodial Changes Occur Outside the Courtroom
  • Kids Tell You What You Want to Hear
  • Really Consider a Material and Substantial Change
  • Is It REALLY, REALLY in the Best Interest of Your Kids?

It’s Time to Let Go of Vindictiveness and Focus on Your Kids

  • Vindictiveness Really Only Hurts Two People: You & Your Kids
  • Why Do You Want to Give Your Ex Power Over You?
  • Your Kids are Growing Up Fast, Focus on Them

Remarriage, Co-Parenting, Step-Families and the Art of Blendedness

  • Take It Slow
  • Remarry Up the Food Chain
  • Realize 2nd Marriages Have a Lower Success Rate
  • Understand It Take 7 Years on Average for Blended Families to Gel
  • Make Sure Your New Wife has a Clear Understanding What She’s Getting Into

Continue Becoming the Super Parent Your Kids Want You to Be

  • Love Your Kids
  • Say “I Love You”
  • Spend Time
  • Be Involved
  • Understand They Love their Other Parent
  • Give Them the Freedom to Love Others

Teach Your Kids to Marry Well or the Cycle Will Repeat

  • Kids Repeat What They See
  • Anneli Rufus Research Shows Divorce Parents is 1 of 21 Factor that Causes Divorce
  • Vocalize Marrying After College
  • Have Heart-to-Heart Talks about the Quality of a Good Partner
  • Intervene to Prevent the Cycle
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Until next time please spend time playing with your kids, praising your kids, and praying for your kids!



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