Any father that has gone through a divorce will know the pain of trying to win custody. As a side note, I’ve always hated that term. “Winning” custody makes it seem like a game when we’re talking about such an important part of your life. The sad reality for most dads is that they will lose the custody battle to their other half. This has been the case since…well…since the first divorce ever.
Why? Why are mothers far more likely to win custody over fathers? It’s incredibly unfair, and there’s generally a lack of justification for it. In this post, we’re going to see some of the reasons usually put forward to “justify” why mothers get custody, and why they’re a load of garbage.
Custody Over Fathers – Mothers are better parents than fathers
Yep, this is genuinely the main reason mothers get custody. Nobody will ever say that out loud these days, but it’s the truth. Talk to a divorce lawyer
and they will admit that there used to be a rule that gave the mother’s the benefit during separations. It was perceived that Moms are better parents because Dads would typically be away from home more often. As such, the mother is the primary caregiver, so it’s better for the child to stay with them.
Funny enough, most states no longer follow this rule. And yet, Dads still get custody far less than Moms. It’s all to do with the incredibly outdated perception or idea that mothers are better parents than fathers – which we all know is a load of rubbish, in most cases! Both parents are just as good as the other.
Mothers have a closer bond with the children
This is another thing that leaves fathers without much hope. Naturally, if a mother nurses her child, she will have a closer bond. This is why divorces involving infants or very your children often end with the mother having custody – and there’s not a lot you can do about that.
The good news is that, if your child is slightly older, you could form a stronger bond with them
. If this is the case, it’s harder for courts to argue that the mother should take full custody.
Custody Over – Fathers – What can Dads do to win custody?
Legitimately, the two reasons above are usually what tips the scales in the mother’s favor. This seems unjust, so what can you do to try and get custody of your kids during a divorce?
I’ve actually created a guide on this already. It runs through the different ideas, approaches, and legal avenues you can go down during a custody battle. Feel free to check out the guide here
, if you want more information on gaining custody of your kids. To summarize the guide for those that don’t have enough time to read it, it’s all about understanding the laws in your state and showing that you’re the better parent.
So, yes, to summarize, mothers are more likely to win custody based on outdated views and ideas. It sounds ridiculous, and that’s because it is. As a country, we need a complete overhaul to make custody battles fair for both sides. Some dads don’t even bother fighting for custody because they know the courts will never rule in their favor. Yes, things are improving, but there’s still a long way to go for fathers to get the right treatment.
What else would you add?
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